As I try to draft this, I wasn’t so sure if I should publish it because I feel more vulnerable in ways I’d usually allow myself to. But sharing this means I’m opening myself to mindfully take up space, not only in digital platforms, but maybe it’s a way to make use of the existing space in this world and come as my truthful self to you. (Or this serves as a personal time capsule of who I was, who I am, and who I will become.)
If you’re reading this, please read it with gentle care. Or at least try to? I don’t know. But wait! How did you find this? I didn’t tell anyone that I have a Substack! Please don’t be a creep haha
Hello Stranger,
How have you been? I hope somewhere out there you feel accepted in the space you are in, and of course, don’t forget to welcome and make space for your genuine self.
- APRL
This is Letter 001: just another personal note.
From: Me
To: Me
To give a short context, this is a reply to my previous journal entry.
It's been a year since I wrote this. Strange that today I feel far from this kind of way, way positive hopefulness.
I took time to walk in our street and thought of past decisions that I am thankful for. The past decisions that made me feel loved, which I truly deserve.
How much work I'm putting in as a sign of being hopeful enough that there's more out there for me and the kind of life I have yet to live.
I thought that maybe next year, (redacted month and day) 2024, I'll be somewhere else…which I tend to. Superficial change of setting, I guess.The feeling of starting new.
But I’m taking a step back from perceiving progress made through changes in setting or quality of life in terms of career, financial stability, and other somewhat tangible things.
Instead, I thought that next year I might be doing the same efforts (or even more) in becoming a better person.
But one thing for sure, I will be a different person in the future and by then, I will also learn how to love that part of me. I am hoping that I won't lose my hope of living a better life and emotional health.Next year, I hope I learn to love myself more to a point where I, too, actually feel more loved as well as the people around me.
That's all I want to share for now. 'Til then. 💌
APRL